Nov. Earl John C. Mutia
My Vocation Story
Before entering the seminary, I had always envisioned living a typical life, devotedly serving God through church ministries. However, that vision gradually changed, and I began to realize that this was not the path God had intended for me. For nearly 26 years, I felt restless. Life wasn’t easy—I faced numerous challenges, trials, bullying, and a secret battle that only God knew about.
In college, I explored various fields. I started with a Bachelor of Science in Information Technology, then took a Basic Safety Seaman Course, pursued some vocational courses in TESDA, and even considered a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education. At the age of 26, I finally completed my degree in Elementary Education during the COVID-19 pandemic, which made finding a job difficult. Despite this, my faith remained strong. I grew more involved in church activities, and a deep desire to serve God began to take root.
My journey toward the seminary began in 2017 when Augustinian friars visited Guipos, Zamboanga del Sur. I was deeply inspired by their commitment to serving the community and admired the way they wore their habits. It felt like a calling, something I couldn’t explain. During this time, I became an active member of the Augustinian youth community in the parish. One of the most memorable experiences was joining an Augustinian friar for Mass in nearby chapels. People often mistook me for a priest because I was with them so often. I would smile and reply, “No, I’m not a priest,” but their words lingered in my mind. “Angayan man, ka mag pari” (You should be a priest) they would say. This made me question whether God was calling me to serve Him in this special way.
Over the next four years, I remained involved in the parish, experiencing both good and bad times. I also witnessed how hard it was for the community when the friars were reassigned to other parishes. Saying goodbye was emotional for everyone, and some even cried. But their departure reminded me of the friars’ dedication to their mission.
During the peak of the pandemic, I was assigned to head the Social Media Communications (SOCOMS) for the Feast of Senor Santo Niño, after almost two years of restrictions. During the motorcade event, my phone suddenly malfunctioned and displayed the message, “AN ACCOMPANIED FOR LIFE.” The message continued even after I restarted the phone. It felt like a message from God, calling me to consider religious life. Though I was already actively serving in the church, I still felt restless. That phrase stayed with me, and it prompted me to reflect on my calling.
At night, I couldn’t sleep, as doubts and “what ifs” filled my mind. What if I entered the seminary? Who would take care of my grandmother, who had raised me? What about my mother, whom I needed to care for, being an only child from a broken family? These questions weighed heavily on me. Making a decision felt so difficult, as it meant sacrificing everything I loved and needed. It seemed easy for others to suggest entering the seminary, but for me, it was the biggest decision of my life.
A few weeks later, I had a conversation with my mother through messenger. I asked her, “Mama, what if I enter the seminary?” She was curious about the salary, but I explained that it wasn’t about money, but about serving God. Her support meant the world to me. Her willingness to say “YES” was a grace from God, and it became my strength. That was the first step—I had asked for my mother’s permission.
Months later, one of the Augustinian Friars invited me to assist one of the friars assigned in Guipos as a lay collaborator. I agreed, even though I didn’t fully understand what it entailed. I drove the friar to the chapel he was visiting. This experience helped me feel more connected to my faith and made me realize that perhaps priesthood was my calling. Furthermore, the vocation director of Guipos, later asked me if I was willing to participate in a 3 day search-in and take the entrance exam. Without hesitation, I said yes. Slowly, everything began to fall into place.
During my three day search-in. It was a time of prayer and reflection with others who were also discerning their faith. When I was informed that I had passed the entrance exam and that my application had been approved by the friars, it was a mix of emotions. The day of my departure was particularly painful because I was going to miss my grandparents, especially my grandmother. But I told her, “I’ll be back, please take care of your health,” and then I quickly ran to the car, not wanting to linger and make it harder for them.
Entering the seminary was a huge step, both exciting and a bit of nervousness. I was eager to meet new friars, encounter new faces, and adapt to a new environment. But I also felt fear, especially when I first saw how old the seminary building was. During my time there in Guadalupe, Makati city, I grew closer to God, and every day became a gift—even during the most challenging moments. Moreover, My academic journey was tough, and I almost failed one subject. At that point, I thought my time was up. I was terrified because I didn’t know how others would perceive me if I was sent out. However, during my final individual conference with my Father Master, he shared my strengths and weaknesses. I expected him to tell me that I would have to leave, but instead, he told me that I had passed my aspirancy and would become a postulant. I was both shocked and overjoyed, realizing that the Holy Spirit had guided me through it all.
This journey has taught me that failure is an opportunity to begin again, wiser and stronger than before. Though I stumbled, I now understand that every challenge is an invitation to grow. This journey isn’t just about me. It’s about the community that supports and prays for me. Their encouragement helps me stay focused on God’s will. As I continue on this path, I am grateful for each step I take and for every person who helps me along the way. The restlessness I once felt has been replaced with peace and purpose. I trust that God has a plan for me, and I am excited to see where it leads.
Nov. John Rey Laureano
Dear Kiko,
I am writing you this letter to remind you of the genesis of your vocation because sometimes you tend to forget where you’d started. “Time will come that you will give up on your vocation” Some people said. I want to remind you where you began and of the reason why you have chosen this life. Most of all, to value your vocation, and to assess where and what you are now.
Who would have thought that you will reach this point in your life, you’ve got your college degree; and now you are on the novitiate formation continuing your aspiration to become an Augustinian. You started from nothing and later discovered some skills necessary for your growth as a person and as an aspiring religious. It would be an honor for me to point out what you have become and to take an account of it. You learned many things while you were in your aspirancy and postulancy formation through your perseverance. It is evident that your perseverance and faith in God have led you to where you are at now. I remember that you have faced difficulties and it is not an easy undertaking to discern if this is really the life you want, yet you survived from the challenges in the seminary (studying philosophy, and dealing with your brothers). Let me ask, what, where, when, and how did you begin aspiring for this kind of life. Can you still remember ? If not, let me do it for you.
I remember you used to treat and play the fita biscuit as a host while playing with your friends as you acted as a priest in their wedding. At that moment , I am certain that you were unaware that you wanted to become a priest in the future. It was just a game. I never thought that it would be the beginning of your discernment but part of the later realization..
Your mother has a great impact in your life now as a seminarian, christian, and as a person. She encouraged and forced you to attend mass and to join in the ministry of the lector. She forced you to attend the mass when you did not want to attend, and to do your responsibility as a lector. You could not go against her because she would be angry when you disobeyed her. Those were not the beginning of your discernment but a medium to know your calling in a religious life, particularly on priesthood. Even though you were unaware of it, God is working to exhibit the path that leads you to a better life.
However, along your journey, the calling on religious life isn’t easy to hear and you know it by your experience. You have encountered many hardships and difficulties before you discover the calling in this life. It comes to the point that you had so many concerns in your life even at a young age. I remember that you were concerned about your capability as a student that you wanted to excel, and the wants of material things such as clothings and gadgets. Might as well, your addiction to online games, you went to sleep very late. Perhaps , that was the reason why you were so skinny and became unhealthy. Those were the problems you were concerned about at that time.
However, because of the holy mass, especially the word of God and the homilies of the priests, you became motivated to hope in life despite your personal challenges and battles you were struggling with. The first time you appreciated the homily of the priest was when you heard from one of the priests that “We should focus on God, not on the problems”. With that, you used to love to attend masses. This leads you as well to watch for online masses and homilies (reflections of the priests), and your Christian life has begun to be active. Because of this, you developed a healthy prayer life as you have heard the reflection and the gospel- the value of prayer in life. It became your day to day practice. You also learn from the media gospel reflections on dealing with the problem and challenges in our everyday life. You were also amazed because the reflection is applicable and reciprocated in your life. So, you used to hear online reflections that became one of the instruments to know your calling.
God used instruments to invite and encourage you in this kind of life in the person of Fr. Exuper, an Augustinian priest. After the mass in your chapel, you were approached and asked by Father Exuper if you wanted to enter the seminary, while your mother was at your side. Every time he celebrates mass he asks you about entering the seminary and your response is “I don’t know.” I understand that you were not sure at that time because you were in doubt and did not know what was that calling. Eventually, that was the beginning of your discernment. Since your mother knew that you were asked about entering the seminary, your family, especially your mother, started to tease you about the priesthood. You saw in her eyes that she really wanted his son to become a priest but at that time you were doubting if that was really what you wanted.
By your active and continued listening of the gospel readings and reflections everyday, you were able to respond to the calling of God to priesthood. You learned that you need to share the gospel and love of God, you have seen it in the discernment to the priesthood. When you were watching an online ordination, at that time,you have felt something that it seemed you like as well to be ordained minister. You felt in your heart the desire to pursue this kind of life. It remains a mystery until now to find why you have felt that way.You have faced many doubts after that. It was not easy for you to be firm and stay in that desire of your heart because your desire was always changing. Sometimes, you like it but sometimes not. Yet you always go back from your learning, the foundation of your vocation,the fascinating lesson you learned from the gospel , it makes you remember your vision and purpose at that time to be a sharer of the gospel and the love of God. One thought that made your heart pierced was “walang tinawag ang Diyos na pinabayaan niya.”, “God never forsake those whom he called” This made you as well to hope and trust in the Lord for He provides and He will care for your concerns. You’ve learned to entrust your discernment to God for you believed that He will provide.
Can you still remember, when there was a youth activity in your parish and you encountered your recruiter again? He asked you once again, and you responded that you’ll try. This was the time you considered this life as your response to the Lord. You began to dream of becoming a priest. You were able to share it with your friends. You were so lucky enough that you have very supportive friends even though some of them are of different faith. The struggle of responding did not end here but it was a continuous challenge that questioned your worth as an aspiring priest. I could say that you were doubting yourself because of your incapacity to speak in front of people. Even the simple reporting in your school, you did not make it.It even made your teacher mad at you. But, your friend encouraged you that you should study more so that your teacher will be surprised and amazed when you will become a priest. What a wonderful message and encouragement from your friend that made you recollect the desire to learn more and you wanted to do it in the seminary!
At the end of your senior highschool days, discouragement became rampant. I am sure it clearly remains in your mind that even your aunty became hostile and seemed against your discernment when they heard that you wanted to enter the seminary. She said that seminary is for the intelligent and for the rich people because of many expenses. There your father is, he encouraged you to pursue it and pleaded with you that you would study there -With your father’s words of encouragement, you continued the discernment.
You attended the search-in in your parish (an Augutinian community). After the program among the six participants, you were the only courageous soul who pursued and continued to aspire to religious life and so you bravely entered seminary. You were happy and nervous at the same time when you heard that you passed the exam. So, after the dialogue with your recruiter and the schedule of departure was fixed you were asked to prepare the requirements needed for seminary. The schedule of your departure from your province to Manila was delayed two or three times.This caused discouragements you thought that it might not really be for you. The first supposed schedule of your departure should be in the first week of July. You were informed that it was delayed after the exert preparation of your things and requirements. Then, your travel was transferred to the second week of July. When that time was approaching, you felt the heaviness of your heart because of the hardship of leaving your loved ones (your family) for the first time. You questioned as well if this should be the way of following God. Then on the day of your supposed departure, it was delayed again and you felt the happiness of having an opportunity to spend a long time with your family. Your departure was transferred again in the third week of September and the class started in August. That is why you spent your online classes in the parish because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
The time of your departure from Saguday was one of the heavy instances in your life because of the fear of leaving your family.. Do you remember your mother crying? You saw the tears in her eyes while the car went away. It was heartbreaking for you, but you did it.
When you arrived in the seminary, you were quarantined for two weeks. Spending on the four sided walls of the quarantine room, you were longing on the presence of your family. You had a hard time avoiding the thought and the feeling of longing for them.. When you went out, you met your brothers with their warm welcome. Living with them was not easy for you as you encountered different personalities that challenged yourself to understand them.
You have faced many crises which sometimes brought you feeling down. One time you doubted your capability and ability living and coping with the seminary life because of having no skills and talent. But, God gave you an elder brother in the seminary(your Manong) to help you overcome your obstacles in your life, especially in your academic endeavor, and it makes you grow as a person having a guide to become a better seminarian and an individual. You also got a failing grade during your first year and third year that brought you to consider that maybe you were not really for the life you are pursuing. But, the Lord is good despite your incapability in terms of academic endeavor. You came up with the realization that you really want this life because of the uneasiness you had felt during your third year when you had a hard time passing one subject you had failed.You asked the Lord why you are still here despite the failures and discouragements you experienced. God led you to realization when you saw a plant drooping on the ground but someone had tied it so it wouldn’t totally fall. It enlightens you that in spite of feeling down there is someone holding you. You regained your courage and strength and entrusted everything to God and at the end of your school year you passed the subject that you have failed despite many attempts.
Your discernment continues as well as your challenges. During your fourth year, and while working on your thesis, you experienced a sense of hopelessness as you realized it seemed impossible to complete. You eventually gave up and lost hope, feeling unsure about continuing your life within the seminary.You initially felt to step away because of the difficulty of writing a thesis. Through the grace of the Lord, you found the strength and courage to persevere and finish your thesis with the help of your Manong that made you realize once again the goodness and His grace that reignited your passion for this kind of life. In the end, you prevailed and you decided to continue because you remembered the lessons that “walang tinawag ang Diyos na pinabayaan niya.” After all you have experienced His providential care during your discernment and your life in the seminary it simply proves that He cares and loves you.
As you continue and pursue your novitiate formation, always remember to look back at the genesis of your vocation, the beginning of your discernment to your four-years experienced in the seminary. Your experience is an encounter of the goodness of God that makes you hold on to Him in every decision you have to make despite your imperfections and your unworthiness to receive those graces from Him.
Lovingly Yours,
Nov. John Rey P. Laureano
Nov. Dennis Bañares
“Chasing my Long-term Happiness”
As far as I can remember, my vocation started when I was a little boy. One time, when I and my pious mother attended mass, I was 8 years old then, when questions molded in my phantasm. I started inquiring from my mother, questions like, “Why do we attend mass every Sunday, why out of nowhere we kneel” and so on. One remarkable question was, “What is the name of the white cloth worn by a priest during the mass?” A simple question from a young boy full of wonders. My mother replied, “That is a sacred cloth called (sutana) soutane”. “Sutana, sutana, sutana” I clearly remember that I kept repeating that word. Until in my dream, I saw myself wearing that cassock. That dream sowed in me the seed of desire to wear it in reality. It was not really my desire to become a priest, instead, I was longing to wear that white cloth. I didn’t realize wearing soutane is to be a priest, and my vocation unfolded.
In November 2006, super Typhoon Reming hit Bicol region, Albay being the center eyewall wherein the most damaging winds and intense rainfall were experienced. The cause of massive loss of life when mudflows from the Mayon Volcano buried many villages. The whole place was devastated, many lives were lost and others were missing. Many humanitarian and disaster responders came, brought relief goods, school supplies, etc. It so happened that some of them came to our place (Brgy. Itaran Polangui, Albay) to provide educational support, mentorship, and resources to help students continue their journey in school despite the trauma because of the typhoon. Before their arrival they already had a list of children that would attend the said program. Unfortunately, I was not in the list, yet my 8-year-old cousin was on the list. Since she cannot go alone I was tasked to accompany her. As the program began, a man approached me for a talk. We talked for a long time then, until he asked me if I would like to come with him to be an altar server? In my thought, I was asking; oh wait, is he a priest? I was dumbfounded and speechless. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, I just tilt my head to convey that I agree. He is Msgr. Crispin Bernarte Jr. the parish Priest of Polangui, Albay. To make the story short, I became an altar server at the age of 12 at Sts. Peter and Paul Parish in Polangui where he was a parish priest. I started to serve as an altar server on Sundays and accompany him at every he has mass outside mass. As a priest, he transferred from one parish to another and I was with him treating me as his son. He sent me to school until college. He was strict but caring, hot-headed but kind, a hardworking, intelligent, and religious person. Now, he is my ideal priest and it was because of him that my vocation developed. He taught me how to pray and the importance of prayer. Furthermore, every time we had road travel we pray the rosary. He encourages me to join some organizations like the New Evangelization Organization (NEO), Youth gatherings, and so on. For him, these organizations /communities will help me to strengthen my faith and build a relationship with God. He keeps on inspiring me by way of preaching and motivating actions in his ministry.
As time went by, I met two good friends (ex-seminarians and altar servers) and they invited me for an entrance examination for the priesthood to the Order of Saint Augustinian under the Vicariate of the Most Holy Name of Jesus of the Philippines (Now a province). On the day of the examination, I did not join them. My two friends Linus and Jordan took the examination. and both pass but only Jordan pursues. I felt a bit of regret and that keeps bothering me.Sometimes I caught myself overthinking about “what ifs” symptoms (as I call it) like, What if I joined them for examination? What would be the result? Could I pass? What would be my next step? So, I researched the Order of Saint Augustine. One thing that caught my attention was a white cloak with a hood (as I called it before) that they were wearing on the post. So, I confirmed it to Msgr. Crispin, he said, is a kind of cloak called habit for religious. I said, “It is different from your soutane and it is beautiful” he replied, a religious habit with a cincture for the Order of St.Augustine. It ends up developing my eagerness to enter the seminary because of that scenario.Perhaps, it was God’s way for me to recognize my vocation to priesthood.
After a year, I took the examination and with God’s grace, at the age of 18, I officially became a seminarian, same as with Jordan, and eventually wore the habit. After some time when I was already inside, I asked myself why I entered the seminary. The only thing I knew for sure, at first was, I am delighted to wear a habit. But, things get roughed and complicated as I journey inside. I had to choose between family and vocation. In the end, I decided to leave the seminary just to help my family financially.
Things changed and I had to be strong. I need to live alone. It was 2019, a first-year professed friar when my vocation was tested. I worked at BPO for just a few months. Several months later I worked in a pharmacy setup assigned as an assistant. The pandemic came then I had to resign. Several months later I was hired as a teacher in a catholic school. Not knowing that it was five years already when I left the seminary. I tried to convince myself not to regret it when I decided to go out. Instead, I was able to compare what was inside and outside of the formation. For example, sleeping and rising. Inside the seminary, these two are strictly followed. Sleeping and rising are well-ordered. Unlike, outside it is optional, why optional? It is up to you how many hours of sleep you want, what time you want to rise, when to sleep, where to sleep or even don’t sleep. 10:00 pm lights will be off. Early in the morning whether you like it or not, 5:30 am is a wake-up call. The bell will ring several times and you must be awake. While outside it is unlimited no bell rings unless there is a vendor of ice cream that usually passes by. You might sleep like a sleeping beauty and wait for a kiss to be awake. Anyway, there was a time when I said, at least, “Finally! I am out of the structure!” I am free! No wake-up call, no bell ring, sleeping earlier than 10 pm and woke up later than 5:30 am. I thought the world that I might encounter outside was modest and easy compared to what was inside the seminary, and that was a big mistake. I thought, since no one held back I was unhindered, but I was just trying to convince myself that I was fine outside. Here I came, I faced alone what makes lives in reality. I did my laundry, cooked, grocery, paid the bills, rented a motorcycle, rented an apartment, budgeting, debt, and so on. Out of curiosity, I tried things outside which seminary formation discourages. It was fun to experience earning and spending money from the salary that I earned. Having something to hand over to my parents after receiving the salary was a great undertaking. However, in addition to my satisfaction. I learned to drink alcohol, dated girls and returned home early in the morning from a night out with friends. It was some kind of relief. Those laughs, teasing, and storytelling together are just once in a while, and at that moment we call it friendship. A way of consoling myself after all.
After that sometimes I came to realize that I was just experiencing short-term happiness, I was staring into nothing. I was just imagining something that I could not attain at the moment. Realizing that I am longing for something that could be for long-term happiness. Recognizing long-term happiness will fall from where my vocation story begins. It is to wear the white cloth and to be a priest someday. So, now I am chasing that long-term happiness by continuing to wear a habit with a cincture. From white cloth to white cloak to Augustinian habit with the cincture.
May God always continue to inspire me, and give me wisdom, and courage as I continue my journey toward my vocation as I chase long-term happiness.
Nov. Reymark Carcedo
“The Tears of my Vocation”
Once upon a time, while I was reflecting during meditation in our college oratory, the tears suddenly fell from my eyes. It was maybe because I was being touched by the story of my vocation. Unexpectedly, something came up in my mind about my vocation with these questions. What really happened? And when did it all start? Who influenced my vocation? And why among all men from my town of Badian and Ginatilan, why me and not them? Lastly and most importantly, what thoroughly inspires me to choose Augustinian?
Maybe, some of you have also experienced asking questions like these. Well, I believe that our vocation should be reflected with the root of our experiences. It is beautiful to wonder sometimes about the tears of our vocation. For it helps us to appreciate the calling of God. These questions led me to acknowledge the source of my vocation. My answers to these questions are quite different from your experiences, but these revelations of mine might enlighten you the beauty of God’s calling to each one of us.
Honestly, I don’t really know what really happens. Some people are right to say that vocation is really a mystery. It is not our duty to really delve into what really happened. For God is a mystery. There was a moment I wondered what really happened to me, when God started to call me to this kind of life. I still cannot grasp it because only God knows everything. But what I am sure about was that my vocation started from a humble beginning with God.
I did not journey on my own but with God. For I was the kind of a child then, who always searched for God in communion with the Church. Who would ever think that a son from not devout family would always profess to himself as part of the church where Christ is the head. Though I knew at a very young age that I was born from an irresponsible family. But I continue to stand my faith in spite of imperfections. At first, it was difficult to accept that my parents were not active in the catholic church anymore. They do not participate anymore. In other words, they are not churchgoers. Maybe it was because they abandoned the church once in their life after they received the sacrament of marriage in the church.
Some of our neighbors even told me once that we do not belong to the church because my father had abandoned the catholic church. It’s true that I was discouraged or even shy to talk to them about our religion. I rather skipped because I felt hurt. However, it never hindered my journey with God. I continue to go forward despite the shortcomings of my parents.
Of course, as I go on along my journey, I never expected to distance myself from my family because I decided to be a working student. It was during my high school that I left my family and started to live in a convent of Daughters of Saint Teresa. They are active nuns. They have school in my town in Badian. I was the only man among the six working students of Saint James Academy. Unfortunately, after four years in the convent, I was the only one who continued because others left for some reasons. I could say that calling to religious life has started from that convent. Though my grandparents then, on the side of my mother, already taught me once to pray the rosary during my childhood. Certainly, the DST Sisters reminded me again the importance of prayer. It was because they taught me to pray the rosary and most of the time, I also attended the holy mass. There were some old nuns who visited our convent who encouraged me to enter religious life because they saw how prayerful I was. My reaction was only to smile at them. It was because I knew in myself even though they thought I was prayerful that I am not deserving because of some reasons.
I thought I was right then but after I was transferred to one of their senior high schools in Ginatilan. The calling to religious life never stops. I realized that they influenced me more to answer God’s call to religious life like them. They were my model of my chosen vocation. It was because I was inspired by them while I was in the convent. Most especially about community life, specifically the importance of prayer and other common acts in the community. I remember that during those times I sometimes imitated them even how busy I was because of my convent chores. For example, when I was assigned to cook during the morning or evening, I used to finish it early in order to attend the mass. They were all shocked but smiling when they saw me at their back during the sign of peace. It was then that I was literally a lover of holy eucharist. In fact, when there was no mass in our town, I usually went to the next town from Badian to Moalboal or Ginatilan to Samboan just to attend the holy mass.
Living with them in the convent has influenced me a lot. In fact, it was through them that I met and became friends with some priests. The DST nuns were also the bridge that I met and encountered the religious priests, especially the Augustinian. It was before the pandemic that the Augustinian- Province of Santo Nino de Cebu went into our school in Ginatilan and conducted a vocation campaign.
But even before it happened, I also met the Rogationist because their seminarians did Christmas caroling in our school. The sisters were also the one who introduced my name to them. Unfortunately, I was not accepted by the Rogationist. Maybe, their vocation promoter thought that I was forced by the sisters to join, but the truth was that I was worried about the financial expenses of their tuition fee. That is why after it had happened, I promised to myself not to worry when joining the Augustinian because as some priests would say that God will always provide.
Honestly, I thought I would not be accepted by Fr. Dante, the vocation promoter of the Augustinian. There were nine men including me from Ginatilan who joined the search-in but I was the only one among the nine who continue and pursue this kind of vocation. I do not know what was the reason why I still continued even though I was alone.
There were times that I asked God why the other seven men who passed did not continue. At first, I was thinking that maybe it was because of the situation that everyone had experienced, which is the pandemic. In fact, most of them told me the reason and one was the financial crisis of their family. However, they never knew that I was also struggling like them. I was also thinking of the situations of my parents. My father lost his job because of a lockdown. I encountered many problems that time on but I still decided to continue. That is why, Fr. Dante picked me in Ginatilan the day after my birthday. I was the only one since my seven classmates who passed decided not to continue.
For the past four years in my college formation years, I confirmed that God really planned everything. It was because there was a moment I was asking myself that despite my weaknesses, why is it that God still chooses me and not them. Maybe, it was because God does not choose the righteous but sinners (Luke 5:32). A sinner like me is not worthy of this vocation. This was mostly my expression before I entered the seminary because I thought seminary is a place of holy people. However, when I was accepted and started my journey in the seminary. I realized that God never chose me because I was perfect, rather I was chosen because I responded to his call.
At first, there were many adjustments I took before I was able to embrace life in the seminary. In fact, one challenge I faced was very common and that was to accept each brother’s different personality in the community. It was because we were from different places, backgrounds, and family. Otherwise, we create division inside the community. There was a point where I experienced an emotional and spiritual crisis. Fortunately, I was able to cope with those challenges and finally finish college years.
But what really inspires me then of the Order of Saint Augustine was their charism which is community life. It was true that I was already being introduced to community life by the sisters, but it was more deepened by some Augustinians friars. I was touched by their famous quotation by Saint Augustine that says “the main purpose for you having come together is to live harmoniously in your house, intent upon God in oneness of mind and heart.” In fact, before I reported to our seminary in Quezon City because I had the chance to live with the friars in the community of Basilica Minore Del Santo Nino for about more than two months. I perceived and observed them living a common life. Every time, they gathered together during a time of common acts like meals, and prayer, I always remember the famous quotation of their father Augustine. It was the moment that my heart was pierced to continue because of the beauty of the charism of the Augustinian.
As I was about to end my meditation that time, I suddenly realized that true calling to religious life is truly from God. It was because God is the source of one’s vocation. The source of that call certainly planned everything from the beginning.
For that reason, I believe that my vocation was part of God’s plan. I never plan on my own in order to skip problems in life. Every single experience started from a humble beginning. Fortunately, the goodness of the Lord was more gracious than my expectations. I never expected to stand my catholic faith even at a young age. Nor experience as a working student of catholic school where DST nuns had influenced me a lot in my vocation.
Most importantly, I never expected to become a seminarian of the Augustinian and be part of the Province of Santo Nino de Cebu. I was even shocked that I was able to reach four years in college. When in fact, it was not easy because there were many adjustments at the beginning of the seminary days. It may be because of the different struggles from academics such as the policy of one failure-out, where I almost fail some subjects, or struggles from community where one needs to accept the behaviors of each brother. There were some brothers in the seminary whom I am very close to and others were not. There were also some who were silent but easily got angry when feeling embarrassed. There were also some jokers who sometimes trampled your dignity as a human person. Another struggle can be from spiritual life for it is not easy to live inside when one experiences spiritual dryness. Sometimes, the beginning is the exciting part but when one experiences spiritual dryness, the prayer life of the seminarian is being affected like what I had experienced.
My vocation story in life never ends with those experiences. It is because I do not know the succeeding part of my journey today and the days to come. But I believe that God has a plan for each one of us whom he called. It is no longer our duty to know what will happen to us in the future whether we continue or not but I believe that what will be our final calling in the future will always be part of God’s call. For this is what the tears of vocation means.
Nov. John Rufo E. Almariego
I am John Rufo Almariego, a simple young man from the province of Lucban, Quezon. I am the eldest of the two siblings of Emma Almariego and Ramil Almariego. My younger sister is Bles Almariego. My father works as a school-property custodian in one of the catholic schools in my hometown; while, my mother is currently a housewife and part-time babysitter. I have a great family. My parents are well-known for their faith and devotion through church service. My father is an active member of the Lectorate Ministry, while my mother is an active parishioner. Even my grandmaternal parents are active members of the parish organization. In fact, my grandmother was an active member of Apostolado ng Panalangin (Apostles of Prayer) and CWL (Catholic Women’s League). My grandfather was an active member of the Eucharistic ministry, K of C (Knights of Columbus), and ANF (Adorasyon Nocturna Filipina).
Looking back on my childhood, I have a family aligned with deepening my faith and relationship with God. Most of my family members contributed significantly to how I grow and deal with others. At a very young age, I saw potential and aspirations in this way of life. I prefer to stay inside and play in our house, which led me to desire for priesthood. There was a time that I impersonated a priest; I attached a religious image on my toy car, and acted like I attended a procession. I also played with biscuits, portraying it like a host.
As I grew older, I became an altar server in my parish.I developed my faith and vocation. It was in my 4th grade when I was invested as a member of the Ministry of the Altar Server.There and then, I realized that I was attracted to priesthood.
When I finished my high school, I entered the seminary to discern more about my chosen path. Together with my two batchmates, we underwent the initial formation at the Diocesan Seminary Institute of Formation. I finished my one-year program, but unfortunately, I was not given a chance to continue my journey inside the seminary. It was a difficult and disheartening time for me; much worse, my mother was diagnosed with cancer but I did not lose heart. I persevered, and by God’s grace, I finished my college degree of Bachelor of Secondary Education, major in English.
God never abandoned his beloved children, in fact my mother was miraculously healed of her cancer. It was a challenging journey. However, I always remind myself to take courage, persevere, and pray in easy and difficult moments. They strengthen my faith to continue my desire to be a priest, even if I am outside the seminary.
One day, I decided to join the Augustinians. I got to know this religious order because of Fray Tony Nombrefia, OSA, the first Augustinian priest from Lucban. While I was a very young altar server, I met him; he was a newly ordained priest then.
One time, I visited Intramuros, Manila. There, I met Fray. Edwin who was at that time a temporary professed friar, and Fray Cedric, who was a postulant. Fray Cedric deepened my understanding about the order and religious life. When they invited me to join them, honestly speaking, I didn’t want their complicated religious and community life. At that time, I was about to reenter the diocesan seminary. Yet, in the middle of pandemic, I started to discern on entering religious life. I remembered what Fray Cedric told me about their way of living as a community and as a religious.
Today, I remain open to God’s call in my religious life. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, I continue in reminding myself to take courage, persevere, and pray. I trust the plan of God for me where I am committed to respond to His call in my vocation.
Nov. Ronaldo D. Ardiente
Dear Sto. Niño,
As I reflect on my life, I feel a deep longing and a strong desire to be more and do more. There is a childhood calling that I have kept hidden and ignored for too long. I write this letter to explore where your hands have guided me.
I vividly remember the visits of catechists to our school who taught us about you, even though their visits were not consistent. They, along with passionate lay ministers, taught me about Catholicism. My first ambition is to be one of them. During a school Mass when I saw my classmates serving as altar servers, I also aspired to be like them. However, I felt a strong desire to serve you in a similar capacity to the one whom they called “father”. I shared my dream of becoming a priest with my mother, but she expressed financial concerns, saying our family couldn’t afford to support that kind of ambition.
It was funny that I desired to be a catechist, a lay minster, or an altar server when I couldn’t even attend Sunday Mass. However, you did not allow my desire to be forgotten by me; I heard the live broadcast of DYHP RMN Cebu Radio of the Mass from your Basilica. With that, it even lessens my desire. I just hoped to visit your shrine even once.
During my high school, a significant event occurred that seemed like a reminder from you. Some time, the morning Mass was postponed to the afternoon. I was on the stage where the altar had been prepared. A gust of wind blew, causing everything to fall. At that moment, I stepped forward and restored the items. My hands were shaking, holding the chalice and paten, that time I did not know what they were called. It seems like the whole world paused for a while.
You know well that I’ve been avoiding your call because I was uncertain of what to do or where to seek guidance. Despite my resistance, you continued to draw me closer to you. When I got a job after high school, I could physically attend mass every Sunday, even everyday at your basilica where I heard over the radio. I believe it was you who paved a path for me, when in 2016, my sister moved to Talisay. There I started serving you as a reader and even a psalmist in the newly-constructed chapel of St. Luke. This led me to participate in the Parish Renewal Experience (PREX) and become an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion at your Parish in Mohon. It was a fulfilling experience. You fulfill one of my childhood desires.
There was a time when I challenged you to allow me to go to college and if the childhood desire of becoming a priest would still be there, I would consider joining seminary after graduation. It was very impossible for me to go to college but you accepted my challenge and conditions. You even allowed me to fulfill one of my childhood desires again, I became a catechist in the morning and a college student in the afternoon. That brought me to tears my dear Sto. Niño every time I remember how you have guided my path.
With Your grace, I graduated from college. The childhood desires you have slowly fulfilled. After college, I remained in service to you, as a lay minister, catechist and sometimes, altar server. Yet I am uncertain about how to proceed in doing my promise and condition. Even though I have good positions in the parish ministries, as a coordinator of the catechists and treasurer of Extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, and PPC member, I lacked the courage to express my aspirations to any priests and feared the financial concerns. I prayed to you to send people to help me. And you did! Our new parish priest, in 2021, Fr. Generous Gonesto, OSA asked me directly if I wanted to become a priest. Although I did not respond outwardly but deep inside me I was convinced that you had sent him as a sign and a guide. I entered the Late Vocation program, I don’t consider it late because your voice was never late—it was my response that was delayed.
It feels like just yesterday when I dreamt of attending Mass, serving in the altar, being a lay Minister, and becoming a catechist. You have granted all of those dreams, except for one. I persisted and believed because I know that you wouldn’t lead me here without purpose. Now, I am a novice. Though I may not feel deserving, I trust that you qualify those whom you call.
In you my dearest Sto. Niño I place all my trust. Guide and strengthen me as I continue discerning your plan for my life. May your Divine will be done, and may I find the courage to follow wherever you lead me all the days of my life.
Sincerely,
Onad